Ways to connect
We all feel lonely sometimes. It's simply our body's way of letting us know we need meaningful connection. Whether it's a brief moment or the start of a new friendship, we all need to feel connected — no matter our age. To share stories, to be heard, and to have fun.
Here are some simple ways to feel a little less alone, and help others do the same.
Our top tips for connection
Our team have put together our tried and tested top 10 ways to feel more connected and less lonely.
The art of conversation
Nothing beats a great chat. We know… we've been doing it for over 27 years! Here's what we've learned.
What is your favourite dish to cook?
Sometimes it's hard to know what to say, especially with someone new, or someone you want to know a little better.
These conversation starters are designed to help relatives, friends and carers build connection with an older person. Use them however works for you, as a starting point, a spark, or just a way in. There are no rules.
Stories of friendship
Dorothy & Rosa
Dorothy, 89, had begun withdrawing from the world struggling with memory difficulties and depression. Rosa was looking for a way to give something back to her community.
When we matched them together, it was quickly clear they were a perfect pairing. Their visits are filled with chat and laughter, and Rosa sometimes brings her young children along, knowing how much Dorothy loves being around little ones. Rosa told us: "I always look forward to seeing her, she reminds me of my own Gran. On the way home one day I thought, I haven't laughed so much in ages."
Dorothy agrees: "We laugh and I share my stories with her."
Frank & Arjun
Frank, 73, lives alone following the loss of his partner. A naturally sociable man, a long-term health condition had left him rarely leaving the house. His GP's mental health practitioner suggested a befriender, and Frank was hopeful that regular company might help.
When we matched him with Arjun, the connection was instant. Their first visit felt as though they'd known each other for years. They share a love of food and cooking, swapping stories over Indian teas and snacks, and have discovered shared travels and similar life experiences. Their conversations flow easily — often lasting hours.
After their first solo visit, Frank said they had "only touched the tip of the iceberg." Arjun feels the same, describing their visits as catching up with an old friend.
As Frank puts it, hearing a knock at the door and knowing it's Arjun "makes all the difference."
Join a Friendship Table near you
Led by The Link Visiting Scheme, the Friendship Alliance has a network of over 65 welcoming venues across the borough where anyone can drop in, enjoy refreshments, and connect with others. Available every day of the week, these tables ensure that no one has to feel alone.
Edith’s story
Feeling low and struggling with loneliness, Edith felt like giving up. With some encouragement, Edith joined our Link to Nature project last year. This summer, she grew a sunflower that reached 5ft 6, and was thrilled when her tomato plant produced more than 120 tomatoes over the season.
Volunteer visitor Joni has helped rekindle Edith’s love of gardening. With new bedding plants in place, her garden is looking beautiful again. Joni said, “It’s really lovely to see how engaged she is with her garden this year… the Link to Nature has inspired her.”
10 top tips for connection
After more than 27 years of bringing people together, we've learned a thing or two about connection. Here are our favourite ways to invite a little more of it into your life.
☺️ Start small
Small moments of connection can make a huge difference. Do you feel uplifted when you exchange a smile with a stranger in the street? How about making small talk with the person behind the till at your local shop, or waving hello to the neighbour across the road? You might not know these people well but these microconnections can have a significant effect on our happiness and sense of belonging.
☕️ Start new rituals and routines
There's something lovely about becoming a familiar face. Try going on a daily walk along the same route at the same time, you'd be surprised how quickly you start recognising people. If physical activity is a challenge, is there a bench you can sit on regularly? Think about new 'social spots' you could create, could you sit in your front garden and say hello to passers-by? Take a book if you feel self-conscious. Even enjoying a cup of tea by a window could open you up to more interactions than you'd expect.
📆 Put dates in the diary
When are you next going to see someone? Having things to look forward to during the week makes a real difference. Some of us need connection multiple times a day; others are comfortable with once a week. Neither is wrong, but having something planned helps. Could you arrange to call a relative once a week? Link Thursdays is a brilliant place to start: a vibrant, welcoming space where anyone in the community can simply turn up and be guaranteed a warm welcome.
📲 Find out what's on
If you're under 60, Involve's Community Navigator telephone service is a brilliant resource, providing free, confidential support to Wokingham Borough residents over 18, connecting them with local services, groups, and activities to improve health and wellbeing. If you're over 60, find out more about our services, from one-to-one befriending to a varied calendar of activities, events and specialist projects, from reconnecting with nature to learning how to get online.
🩵 Volunteer
One of the most reliable routes to connection… and one we might be a little biased about! Giving your time to others gets you out of the house, into a community, and alongside people who share your values. Volunteering has a remarkable way of turning strangers into friends faster than almost anything else. If you'd like to volunteer with us, we'd love to hear from you.
☎️ Pick up the phone
In a world of texts and emails, actually calling someone has become a bit of a radical act, and that's exactly why it matters. Hearing a familiar voice, having a proper back-and-forth, knowing someone gave you their time, it counts for more than we realise. Think of someone you've been meaning to catch up with. Don't text them. Call them!
✅ Say yes more
Sometimes connection isn't something we need to go looking for — it's the invitation we've already received and haven't quite got round to accepting. A neighbour's coffee morning. A colleague's leaving do. A friend's 'we should catch up soon.' Say yes. It doesn't have to be perfect or comfortable. It just has to happen.
💻 Get online
For many people, the internet has opened up a whole new world of connection… video calls with family, online communities built around shared interests, and friendships that span the country. If getting online feels daunting, help is closer than you think. Our Link Online sessions can support you to get started with confidence.
🏃♀️ Fundraise with us
From sponsored runs to film nights and cake sales, fundraising is a brilliant way to support our work — and an unexpectedly good way to make friends. You'll find common ground, have a laugh, and feel genuinely great about yourself in the process. Not a bad deal. Sounds like a win-win to us!
🌿 Find a new hobby
Is there something you've always fancied doing? A skill you've never quite got round to learning? The good news is there's a wonderful range of resources and activities out there for everyone. Finding a hobby isn't just about the activity itself, it's about the like-minded people you meet along the way. Some of our favourite places to start are below.
⭐️ Our top picks ⭐️
Borrow My Doggy → connecting dog owners with local dog lovers for walks, weekends and holidays. Nationwide, vetted and insured.
The Countryside Charity → volunteering opportunities across the UK, from Hedgerow Hero to countryside coordinator.
British Association for Local History → talks, guided visits to archives, libraries and museums, and a community of local history enthusiasts.
British Modern Military History → regular talks and a monthly Zoom call, open to all.
The National Trust → nationwide walks, including sessions focused on mental health and community groups.
Outdoor Swimming Society and National Open Water Coaching Association → cold water swimming for all ages and abilities, with a wonderful community spirit.
Meet Up → find local groups built around almost any interest you can think of.
The Women's Institute → a trusted space for women of all generations to come together, learn new skills and make a difference. Over 6,300 WIs across the UK, plus virtual options.
Men's Sheds → practical interests, shared spaces and genuine connection. Despite the name, Men's Sheds welcomes younger members and women too. A brilliant organisation for intergenerational friendship.